Before the Story

I wish I could say I’ve traveled the world and lived lots of interesting places, but that just wouldn’t be true. I’d only lived in one place until I moved to Italy for a short season, I’ll go into more detail about that soon. For now, let’s just say my home is Chicago. Of course, there was the time I spent away at college, which ended up being a terrible waste of time. Nothing against college, it just wasn’t for me.

Until my mother died, I guess I would describe my life as normal, but all that changed in one short moment. I didn’t know how much I would miss her, how could I? The ones we need the most, we often take for granted. When I wanted someone to say, “good job,” or when I needed to take out my frustrations because life wasn’t fair, she was the one I went to. Then one day she wasn’t there anymore, and I realized life definitely wasn’t fair.

My best friend, Allie stayed with me after mom died, she knew I desperately needed someone. My older sister, Audrey, was in college and she only stayed for a few days after the funeral. Frightened if she stayed any longer she’d fall behind her first year, which would be disastrous. Personally, I think she didn’t want to deal with being in the house any longer than she had to. Dad was heartbroken; he not only lost his wife but his best friend and business partner. He tried to be strong for us, but he felt her loss as hard as anyone, you could see it in his eyes.

As a family we weren’t good at processing grief, it was a stranger who had come to live with us, without any notice. There was no sickness, no heartfelt goodbye where she imparted all the wisdom we would need for a lifetime. One day we were a happy family of four, and the next, one of us was gone; the one that held us all together was violently ripped away. She’s gone and a piece of me is missing.

If you saw my family, you’d think everything is perfectly fine, probably better than fine, but things aren’t always as they appear. Here is where my story begins, a broken girl who feels like screaming, but instead I’m silent.